Ideas to help you create an environment where people and performance thrive

Assertive selfishness is not equal to aggressive selfishness

Assertive Selfishness is not equal to Aggressive Selfishness

“Selfish” is not a four-letter word. We’re taught from infancy that being selfish is bad.We condition ourselves to believe we must be selfLESS to be good. That story we tell ourselves results in frustration, exhaustion, and burnout. We’re missing the nuances of being selfish. While it’s advisable to avoid being “aggressively selfish” – displaying toxic…
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Dealing with performance issues steps

Dealing with Performance Problems

Punishment and avoidance rarely work. Approach performance issues with curiosity and empathy and you may find the discussion and solution are less difficult than you anticipated: When discussing and resolving performance issues: 🟠Prepare – prepare yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally 🟠Present – present the situation as you see it 🟠Discover – understand what is going…
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Text: The most important safe space is the one in your own head Image: person hugging themselves

The Most Important Safe Space

Imposter syndrome.Fear.Doubt.Self-criticism.Self-punishment.Perfectionism. The stories we tell ourselves can hold us back from developing and helping others develop. Becoming a more effective leader often starts with creating a safe space in our own heads. 

Image of kids feet in large shoes

Stop Trying to Put Yourself In Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine someone close to you complaining about their shoes. They’re too tight. They cause blisters.  There’s a weird bump at the toe. “Let me see,” you say as you slip your feet inside. “These aren’t too tight! And there is no weird bump!”  Empathy? Not really. Unsurprisingly, their size 12 shoes are not too tight for your size 9…
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Woman standing looking at brain on fire

Think of Stress as Your Brain on Fire

When you’re under stress, all your brain cares about is that it is on fire. Not the work you are trying to do.Not the lesson someone is trying to teach you.Not the conversation someone is trying to have with you.Not the goal you need to work on. It’s too preoccupied with the fire. It usually…
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People Carrying a Lightbulb

The Opportunity of the Executive

The Managers began to talk. Openly. Honestly.  It took many hours of conversation and confidence in the pledge to maintain confidentiality. And they were ready to offer insights about challenges and opportunities.  They had excellent observations and suggestions. They balanced the positives with the opportunities. They were constructive. They were empathetic. They continued to speak with respect. And they were not willing…
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Two people in a canoe paddling in opposite directions

Paddling in Opposite Directions

Tired.Frustrated.Demotivated.  So much time, energy, and money expended. And yet we’re still in the same spot on the lake.  I’m angry at them. They’re angry at me.  I’m working hard! We’re getting nowhere. It must be THEIR fault.  If one of the people in the canoe changed direction, in just a few minutes there would be more progress…
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Leading Change Relationships Matter text

Relationships Matter When Leading Change

Building relationships isn’t a distraction from the work – it IS the work.  Leading people and leading change requires providing a clear destination, guiding people to align, and supporting them to get where they need to go. No matter the type or size of the change, each individual will be called upon to change how…
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Person stuck at a barrier with a clear path behind and to the left of him and "your path forward may be behind you"

Your Path Forward May Be Behind You

Did you “go on a lion hunt” as a child?  Going on a lion hunt.Gonna catch a big one.I’m not scared. Uh oh!  A log.Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it.Can’t go through it.Gotta go around it! As children, we knew the best way was around, but as adults, we often get to a barricade and…
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frustrated kid crying while holding teddy bear in dirty room, post apocalyptic concept

Childhood: The Root of the Stories We Tell Ourselves

*trigger warning – aggressive relationship experiences I can see their anger building.  I know the explosion is coming.  My heart races.  My brain goes into autopilot.  I can stop this.  I must stop this.  I tried to walk on eggshells.  To keep the peace.  It didn’t work.  I’m so used to being here.  I react…
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