“Selfish” is not a four-letter word. We’re taught from infancy that being selfish is bad.We condition ourselves to believe we must be selfLESS to be good. That story we tell ourselves results in frustration, exhaustion, and burnout. We’re missing the nuances of being selfish. While it’s advisable to avoid being “aggressively selfish” – displaying toxic…
Read more
Punishment and avoidance rarely work. Approach performance issues with curiosity and empathy and you may find the discussion and solution are less difficult than you anticipated: When discussing and resolving performance issues: 🟠Prepare – prepare yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally 🟠Present – present the situation as you see it 🟠Discover – understand what is going…
Read more
Imposter syndrome.Fear.Doubt.Self-criticism.Self-punishment.Perfectionism. The stories we tell ourselves can hold us back from developing and helping others develop. Becoming a more effective leader often starts with creating a safe space in our own heads.
Imagine someone close to you complaining about their shoes. They’re too tight. They cause blisters. There’s a weird bump at the toe. “Let me see,” you say as you slip your feet inside. “These aren’t too tight! And there is no weird bump!” Empathy? Not really. Unsurprisingly, their size 12 shoes are not too tight for your size 9…
Read more
When you’re under stress, all your brain cares about is that it is on fire. Not the work you are trying to do.Not the lesson someone is trying to teach you.Not the conversation someone is trying to have with you.Not the goal you need to work on. It’s too preoccupied with the fire. It usually…
Read more
The Managers began to talk. Openly. Honestly. It took many hours of conversation and confidence in the pledge to maintain confidentiality. And they were ready to offer insights about challenges and opportunities. They had excellent observations and suggestions. They balanced the positives with the opportunities. They were constructive. They were empathetic. They continued to speak with respect. And they were not willing…
Read more
Tired.Frustrated.Demotivated. So much time, energy, and money expended. And yet we’re still in the same spot on the lake. I’m angry at them. They’re angry at me. I’m working hard! We’re getting nowhere. It must be THEIR fault. If one of the people in the canoe changed direction, in just a few minutes there would be more progress…
Read more
Building relationships isn’t a distraction from the work – it IS the work. Leading people and leading change requires providing a clear destination, guiding people to align, and supporting them to get where they need to go. No matter the type or size of the change, each individual will be called upon to change how…
Read more
Did you “go on a lion hunt” as a child? Going on a lion hunt.Gonna catch a big one.I’m not scared. Uh oh! A log.Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it.Can’t go through it.Gotta go around it! As children, we knew the best way was around, but as adults, we often get to a barricade and…
Read more
*trigger warning – aggressive relationship experiences I can see their anger building. I know the explosion is coming. My heart races. My brain goes into autopilot. I can stop this. I must stop this. I tried to walk on eggshells. To keep the peace. It didn’t work. I’m so used to being here. I react…
Read more
