Category: Self-Awareness, Development, and Care

Assertive selfishness is not equal to aggressive selfishness

Assertive Selfishness is not equal to Aggressive Selfishness

“Selfish” is not a four-letter word. We’re taught from infancy that being selfish is bad.We condition ourselves to believe we must be selfLESS to be good. That story we tell ourselves results in frustration, exhaustion, and burnout. We’re missing the nuances of being selfish. While it’s advisable to avoid being “aggressively selfish” – displaying toxic…
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Text: The most important safe space is the one in your own head Image: person hugging themselves

The Most Important Safe Space

Imposter syndrome.Fear.Doubt.Self-criticism.Self-punishment.Perfectionism. The stories we tell ourselves can hold us back from developing and helping others develop. Becoming a more effective leader often starts with creating a safe space in our own heads. 

Woman standing looking at brain on fire

Think of Stress as Your Brain on Fire

When you’re under stress, all your brain cares about is that it is on fire. Not the work you are trying to do.Not the lesson someone is trying to teach you.Not the conversation someone is trying to have with you.Not the goal you need to work on. It’s too preoccupied with the fire. It usually…
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frustrated kid crying while holding teddy bear in dirty room, post apocalyptic concept

Childhood: The Root of the Stories We Tell Ourselves

*trigger warning – aggressive relationship experiences I can see their anger building.  I know the explosion is coming.  My heart races.  My brain goes into autopilot.  I can stop this.  I must stop this.  I tried to walk on eggshells.  To keep the peace.  It didn’t work.  I’m so used to being here.  I react…
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Why Are We Stuck?

Why are we stuck doing things that aren’t a good investment of our time and energy? In a recent post, I noted that if you’re like many leaders, you’re spending a lot of your time, energy, and money in three main areas that are holding you back from doing your best to lead people and achieve…
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I will never forget the first time I terminated someone’s employment

What a dreadful situation. So many years of education. And yet I had never learned how to let somebody go. It was stressful for both of us, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I fumbled through the conversation I wasn’t sure how to tactfully explain to someone that they had performed their job so…
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Thoughts Feelings Behaviour and Results are all connected

Thinking it Through

Our thoughts, feelings, behaviour, and results are all connected. Every result we get comes from the “story we tell ourselves,” which means we can often change our outcomes by changing our thinking. Here’s an example: Issue: The Purchasing Manager is not doing their job well.  They’ve missed deadlines and made errors.  They take long lunch…
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