Category: Thoughts, Feelings, Behaviour, Results

Leadership Tip: Blame, shame, fear, and guilt keep us stuck. Picture of a person running on a hamster wheel with "blame, shame, fear, and guilt" beside it. Picture of a happy hamster drinking tea and eating cake with "empathy, understanding, and compassion" beside it

Want to Be A More Effective Leader? Break the Cycle

He was a senior leader who wanted great outcomes.  And yet he was stuck. Often, when a challenge came up, he’d respond ineffectively. Blaming, shaming, punishing.  He pointed the finger at everyone else. When inside, he was fighting the finger he knew pointed at him. He couldn’t take on the blame, shame, guilt, and fear. …
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Leadership Tip: Feelings are like farts - build up over time - buildup depends on circumstances and individual - got to let them out to feel well - need to pick the right time, place, and way to let them out

Feelings Are Like Farts

My kid was bottling up their feelings. They wanted to be strong.   They didn’t want to cry.  They didn’t want to show that they were struggling. Their feelings would come out in blasts – explosive, angry, unexpected. And so we talked about farts.  They understood farts.  They loved farts.  Farts were fun.  Farts were something…
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Leadership tip: Without a level of personal confidence and emotional vulnerability, managers will often feel uncomfortable, even embarrassed, about having simple behavioural conversations with their employees - From The Truth About Employee Engagement by Patrick Lencioni

When You’re Resisting the Important Conversations

My suggestions were met with resistance.  Strong resistance.  “A team meeting?  That sounds awkward.”“One-on-ones, won’t that be weird?” We talked about the skills, approaches, and benefits.  And there was still resistance. That resistance took a little while to work through.  In a safe space, over time, we talked about what was really going on in…
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Leadership Tip: Breathe

Just Breathe

So much to do.Not enough time.Crap, I forgot about that…Oh no, I don’t have time for this…I’m not sure I can handle that today… No matter the season, your role or life situation, things can and often do feel overwhelming. Remember to breathe. Breathing deeply sends a message to your brain to calm down and…
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Power Squad Podcast: Things That Get in the Way of Change

Hopefully, you’ll find our conversations as interesting as we do! 🙂 Kristina Schmitt, Jenny Barkan, ACC, and I spend a lot of time sharing ideas and building on each other’s thoughts. We thought you might like to listen in as we explore topics that impact leaders and workplaces. Look for the “Power Squad” conversations as a…
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Sorry, but your mom gave you sh*tty advice

Sorry, But Your Mom Gave You Sh*tty Advice

Great leaders: ✔ Embrace and invite conflict ✔ Give honest feedback ✔ Say “no” to things that don’t align with values and priorities Leaders often struggle with these keys to success.Why? We were taught to “be nice” Fighting with siblings?“Be nice” Speaking your truth?“Be nice” Not willing to share?“Be nice” The challenge is that “be…
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Bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway

Is Discomfort Holding You Back?

There’s a misconception that contributes a lot to imposter syndrome and holds people back… It’s that being brave means not being nervous, anxious, afraid, or hesitant.  But the presence of fear does not mean the absence of bravery.  Bravery is being scared and doing it anyway. Feeling discomfort and leaning in. Not being certain, but…
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Dealing with difficult people situations

Stop Dealing With “Difficult People”

I have been trying to avoid labelling people as “difficult.” And choosing instead to label the situation as “difficult.” I adopted this thinking when I was asked to create a “Dealing With Difficult People” program. I wanted one of the key concepts to be that ‘navigating conflict is much easier when you see yourself as…
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Boundaries keep your bucket full

Boundaries Keep Your Bucket Full

I used to have poor boundaries. I had a hard time saying “no.” I felt guilty when I wasn’t giving 100% of myself to others. I felt bad when people were upset with something I had done to protect my well-being.  I was frustrated. Passive-aggressive.  Exhausted. I blamed others for “making me” these things. Which…
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Understand stress response

Want to Stop People Pleasing, Indecisiveness, Perfectionism, or Controlling? 

Want to Stop People Pleasing, Indecisiveness, Perfectionism, or Controlling?  First recognize your actions as proactive behaviours. Stress is the body’s automatic response to a perceived threat. When our brain picks up on a possible threat, it tries to keep us safe. The physical response is instinctive – fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.  As we grow up, our…
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