Want to Be A More Effective Leader? Break the Cycle

Leadership Tip: Blame, shame, fear, and guilt keep us stuck. Picture of a person running on a hamster wheel with "blame, shame, fear, and guilt" beside it. Picture of a happy hamster drinking tea and eating cake with "empathy, understanding, and compassion" beside it

He was a senior leader who wanted great outcomes. 

And yet he was stuck.

Often, when a challenge came up, he’d respond ineffectively.

Blaming, shaming, punishing. 

He pointed the finger at everyone else.

When inside, he was fighting the finger he knew pointed at him.

He couldn’t take on the blame, shame, guilt, and fear.  And so he projected it outward. 

Becoming a more effective leader isn’t about learning tips and tricks.  It’s not about having an MBA.  It’s not about spending more time in the role.

It’s about becoming increasingly self-aware and choosing to meet our challenges, internal and external, with empathy, understanding, and compassion*.

Most of us grew up seeing and learning blame, shame, and guilt.  We aren’t comfortable with empathy, understanding, and compassion.  We stay stuck.

Choosing empathy, understanding, and compassion, for others, but most importantly for ourselves, is the way to break the cycle.

*A reminder that empathy, understanding, and compassion are not the opposite of accountability.  They are the most effective path to achieving it.